My life is full of transitions right now. I am trying to move away from outside employment into full-time freelancing because of some crappy health issues. I am also trying to get used to the fact that I have these crappy health issues. As I mentioned yesterday I am reading “The Dude and the Zen Master” by Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman. It is awesome stuff. I have always believed in going with the flow. I don’t mean that when something happens in your life that you just lay down and ignore it. What I do mean is that accept that this problem or situation exists and don’t bang your head against the wall trying to deny that it exists, in other words, don’t have the poor me attitude. Why question the reasons this thing happened to you. It happened. Now look it in the face and think, what are the ways I can make this better or learn from it. Sometimes life just sucks. But there is plenty of goodness around you if you just open yourself to it.
When I had my heart attack at 45 years old I could have decided well that’s it I’m doomed, but I didn’t. I decided to look at my life and remove the things that were causing me the stress. First, was my job as a nightclub manager. Crazy hours. Crazy stress. I decided to go back to school and get a degree in Graphic Design that way I could have the skills to freelance and make a living with less stress and getting a full night’s sleep. The other takeaway from that experience that truly brought joy to my life is that I am thrilled to see my family every day. I mean really thrilled and I make sure they know it. I probably tell my kids and grandkids I love them 5 or 10 times a day. I’m not kidding. My heart is so full.
Now that I have this crappy COPD on top of the heart nonsense I am even more aware of my mortality but do I sit here crying in my coffee (yes, I still drink coffee but I do try to alternate regular pots with decaf.). There is so much living to still do. I haven’t learned all I want to learn, probably never will. I definitely haven’t loved all I want to love. Until I take that last breath I am going to go with the flow. I am going to row my boat merrily, merrily down that stream of life. Do I get sad? Yes. Do I feel overwhelmed sometimes? Yes. But man, I’ll tell you what, when one of my grandson’s runs from across the room and hugs me as hard as they can, or cuddles up next to me, I know it is all good.
Another great book is “The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff. If Winnie the Pooh can’t bring the best out in you then you haven’t opened up a space inside yourself to accept some of that wisdom.
Sorry if this sounds like a rant but I wish everyone who is in a crappy place in their life or is in a position of transition would get in their boat and row merrily. Life is a trip. It really is. So enjoy the journey. This is just a stopping place learn as much as you can from it and enjoy the ride.
Visit these Amazon links to order the books mentioned above: