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In The Eye of the Raven: Response to today’s Write Now prompt

In Uncategorized on February 1, 2013 at 8:02 am

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Writing Prompt: Colin awoke to find an unkindness of ravens filling the lawn, and a single raven perched expectantly on the front porch.

He could see the specter of death in the bird’s eyes through his bedroom window. He shook his head and a faint smile rested on his lips. Death would not come today. Today was the day of his party. He listened to the quiet hiss and clicks of the medical equipment that surrounded his bed providing its own eerie background music to the end of Colin’s life.

The raven on the porch took flight just as the door to his room opened. Colin’s mother came in with his morning drugs. She looked tired and it was evident that she had spent another night with her tears.

“How is my birthday boy?”, she said in a contrived cheerful voice, holding back more tears. As she approached the bed Colin saw that there was a muffin with a flickering candle on the tray. The muffin was for show, it had been awhile since Colin had been able to eat on his own.

“I’m good, Mommy. Today is my party! Everyone is coming, right?” Colin said in a weak yet excited eight year old voice.

 

To visit Write Now and read other writer’s responses click HERE

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  1. Wow…I have no words; the sadness, defiance, and expectation in this piece are all so very evident. Great job!

  2. Hi Laura…you are able in a few short paragraphs to tell a good story. Only 1 suggestion read your response without the first sentence and see if you need it at all. Thanks for the inspiration
    N

    • I think you are right. Thank you for the input I have been writing articles as a freelancer recently but I am very rusty on fiction. That is one reason that I decided to try prompts so that I can get those juices flowing again.I appreciate criticism as well as praise. It’s the only way to get better.

  3. Nicely done. As others have said, you managed to put a lot of feeling and emotion in a very short space.

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